Lately I feel like God has been trying to let me in on something. I find that when I get caught up in lies, he is quick to remind me what truth says.
I’ve really been seeking a reminder on love. Love is such a big concept, almost overwhelming in some ways. Sometimes I just need to understand it more because it’s a word that defines much of our existence.
This season in my life I’ve been struggling with the insecurity from past hurt, which consists of me being afraid that people are going to leave me. That sounds really yucky to say out loud (or type, for that matter), but it’s true. I have this deep, deep fear that I’m going to lose the people in my life because I’m not good enough to keep them.
And I realize this causes me to be super self-focused. I am constantly on my guard, thinking of my past hurt and how I “deserve” good people in my life. So if people don’t treat me well for a second, I think the sky is just about to fall. And this is such, such wrong thinking.
I cannot put that much pressure on people. That’s not fair.
And the people around me are such loving, wonderful people. I’ve been blessed with such an incredible community this year and I could not be more thankful. Yet, even with this, I still find myself in fear that these people will leave me. What a selfish way to live.
So knowing this, God put these words in my head one day:
Notice how I say “love others”, not “be loved by others.”
Friends, there is quite a difference between the two. The first emphasizes action, which is how we were designed to live. And the second one highlights passivity, which depends largely on circumstances.
Yes, it is important to be in a community that loves and values you for you. But just like the wise words said, this is not our sole reason for existence.
Instead, our greatest commandment and the one goal everyday should be to love.
And this changes things quite a bit.
When I focus on loving people instead of being loved by people, the focus is primarily shifted towards others. I don’t have to feel insecure because I am not the main focus of the act of kindness, the act of service, the conversation or the friendship.
When we focus on loving people with all our hearts, it doesn’t matter if we are left in the dust by others. All that matters is that we are actively stepping out in love and sacrificing our time and effort for the good of those around us.
You might not struggle with the same things I do. But I know that if we focus on the way Jesus lived, in loving people as an action instead of in passivity, we will have great joy and live the wonderful life God planned for us.